Statistically, 95.8% of us women report stress. Only 4.2% report to feel relaxed, laid-back, rested, carefree, lighthearted…Lucky them! How do they do that? Let’s find the best kept secret of women who never get stressed.
The American Psychological Association did their research on that one and found out, that 54% of married women feel as though they could cry every day vs. 33% of the single ones, who felt the same. I know…Why do we want to get married in the first place then?
We live in an era with an epidemic of alleged perfectionism. This is especially true for us women because we are the “Do-it-all” generation. We feel the pressure. We actually believe the world expects us to be beautiful, smart, powerful, caring, skinny, to be amazing mothers with careers, supportive girlfriends, wives, caring daughters and to change the world among other things.
What makes us feel overwhelmed?
All the things.
A breakup can make us feel heartbroken and sad. Likewise, dating can do the same. Moreover, dating can add hopelessness and despair to the heartbreak.
In the like manner betrayal, divorce, or losing a friend can be pretty bad for us.
And then there is also all the work and career stuff that we need to deal with. Why didn’t we get the promotion?
Even great things like becoming a mom can drain us and deprive us not only from sleep. In the same way, the small stuff like worrying about money, household chores, commuting, getting a fine for whatever can make us cry.
There are so many ways life can take a toll on our physical and emotional well-being and throw us off balance.
Depending on how hard the throw was, we can feel so overwhelmed, or stressed out, that we forget to express the beauty we all have on the inside. We forget to care for ourselves. We neglect ourselves on a daily basis. And before we know it, many of us become shadows of ourselves.
the best-kept secret of laid-back women
After years of research and studying the reasons for the relaxed, laid-back, rested, carefree, lighthearted being of some of us, we found that best-kept secret. Indeed, this is almost a secret universal medicine for any stage of women’s overwhelmedness. Therefore, it deserves a poem and we are going to share it with one.
For this purpose, we will periphrase a beautiful poem by E. E. CUMMINGS:
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping…
some women laid-back:
It’s the healing power of realistic assessment of their own abilities
Laid-back women never have too much on their plate. These women enjoy being themselves, being authentic and expressing themselves. They work to actualize themselves and their potentials. Yes, their potential. Not the expectations of society. In other words, laid-back women make a realistic assessment of their abilities, of what’s possible for them and what’s not. They keep it simple.
They are never too busy and never have too many things to deal with or to worry about. As a result, they never get stressed out.
And through it all, they don’t forget to care for themselves. Remember there’s more to life than the problems we have right now. When we stop taking care of ourselves, we slowly start feeling unhappy, because we know we do deserve better. It’s not about putting yourself always first. Sometimes it’s just about taking care of yourself the same way you take care of others. Why do we stop doing it as we get older?
So be realistic and have compassion for yourself. Don’t put too much on your plate and stay focused in the areas that matter to you most. Quality over quantity.